As the days of July were coming to a close, so was Louis’s soul
ascending closer to heaven. On July 29, 1894, early in the morning,
Louis breathes his last breath while he was staying at the Château of
La Musse. Céline was there to witness his ascent. Immediately,
she sent a note to her sisters about their father’s death. On
August 2, 1894, Louis’s funeral was held at the Cathedral of
Saint-Pierre in Lisieux. His body was laid to rest at the local cemetery.
Afterwards, a memorial service was conducted at the Carmelite chapel
reuniting the family once more. Weeks later, the remains of Azélie and
their belated children were brought to Lisieux and were laid to rest
beside Louis’s grave. The rest of the family was once again reunited.
In August of 1894, a prayer was written to honor the memory of their beloved
father. It was titled: ‘Prayer of the Child of a Saint’. Each part to the prayer
represented each daughter that truly loved him and sought his spiritual guidance
before and after his death. A description of their father’s guidance in Pauline’s
section, gives precise insight into the bond between her and her father as it was
written: “Remember thou thy beautiful ‘pure pearl’, the timid lamb once to thy tendence given! Trusting in God,
behold thy lovely girl. Guide Carmel’s flock along the road to Heaven. Of thy beloved ones, “Mother” is she today:
Then come guide even now thy darling on her way! This Carmel of Thine own, Remember at Heaven’s throne.
Remember thou!” (FL)
Céline entered the Carmelite monastery on September 14, 1894. Her sisters were pleased to greet her lovingly once
more. Unfortunately, Céline’s entrance was met with some opposition prior to her entering. But with the intercession
of prayers, on behalf of her sister Thérèse, things changed dramatically for the better, allowing her entrance to
commence.
One night during the month of January 1895, Marie, Pauline, Céline and Thérèse were warming up against the
fireplace before returning to their cells for the night. Thérèse was reminiscing with her sisters over their childhood
memories. When it was time for them to retire, Marie approached Pauline and suggested that Thérèse write down all
of her childhood memories. Pauline agreed with Marie and asked Thérèse to do so.
Pauline celebrated her thirty-fourth birthday on September 7, 1895. In honor of this event, Thérèse composed a poem
for her sister. Thérèse reflected back to the time of her childhood when Pauline took care of her and the longing that
both of them had to be “hermits in the desert”. It was Carmel that was to be their desert. In Thérèse’s poem to
Pauline, she told Pauline that if she died before her that she would in turn be Pauline’s angel as Pauline was to her:
“To My Dear Mother, the Fair Angel of My Childhood” (PL)
Though so far from beautiful Heaven, my Homeland,
I’m not alone on earth
For in this life’s exile
A fair Angel guides my steps.
This fair Angel, O dear Mother!
Sang by my cradle,
And the sound of her melody
Still seems so new.
She sang of the charms of Jesus,
She sang of the joy of a pure heart.
Drying my tears with her wing,
She sang of beautiful blue Heaven…
O deep mystery! This fair Angel
Called me her baby sister…
She had a Mother’s features,
And I would rest on her heart! …
But alas! Instead of taking me to Heaven,
One day the fair Angel,
Seeking the Virgins’ procession,
Took her flight to Carmel! …
Ah! How I wanted to follow her
To contemplate her virtues up close
Like her, I wanted to live,
And like her, to unite myself to Jesus…
But without leaving the Heavenly Court,
I’ll come down to this foreign shore,
Close by my Mother,
To take my turn as her angel…
Throughout her life Pauline cherished this beloved poem from her sister. She pulled it out from time to time and reread
it and reflected on the meaning of the words, especially when difficult obstacles were placed in her path. It was a
source of hope and inspiration for her to continue her exile on earth.
In January of 1896, Thérèse completed her notebook listing her childhood memories and handed it to Pauline for her
to review her manuscript. Unfortunately, Pauline was too preoccupied with the campaigning for a prioress as well as
governing the monastery. She was not able to read it until after the elections were held.
Leading up to the new elections of the prioress in March of 1896, Mother Marie de Gonzague campaigned among her
sisters for the position. The campaign was brought on by the dissatisfaction that Mother Marie had against Pauline and
her governing. She knew that she could not manipulate her as she thought she could as prioress. Mother Marie
purposely used every opportunity to undermine Pauline’s authority in front of the other sisters. This was so that she
could show the other sisters that she was the one best suited for the position. As Thérèse and Sister Magellan sat and
witnessed one of these episodes, Thérèse said to Sister Magellan: “I rejoice; the more I see Mother Agnes suffer, the
happier I am. You do not know the value of suffering. If you only knew the good it does her soul.” (TH)
On March 21, 1896, the election for prioress was held. By one vote, Mother Marie de Gonzague was re-elected
prioress once again. Immediately, it was a devastating blow for Pauline and her sisters. However, Pauline used this
whole experience as an act of humility, adding one more pearl in her crown for Jesus.
After the elections were over, Pauline had the opportunity to read the manuscript that Thérèse wrote. Pauline was
astonished at how far Thérèse had advanced in her way of perfection. All that was taught to Thérèse by Pauline had
mirrored itself to her in the manuscript. Pauline later apologized to Thérèse for taking so long to review her
manuscript.
The Carmelite nuns of Lisieux established, in 1861, a monastery in Saigon, Vietnam. In August of 1896, the Carmelite
nuns of Saigon requested help for more nuns to come and join them. There was serious consideration by the newly
re-elected prioress; Mother Marie de Gonzague that Pauline would be one of the nuns sent to Saigon. Weeks later,
Céline and her cousin Marie Guérin were also added to the list for consideration. But as divine intervention should
have it, neither of the Martin sisters or their cousin was sent to Saigon.
On December 4, 1896, Thérèse wrote Pauline a small note expressing to her how much she loved her and
commending her on her valiant acts of humility. Thérèse would periodically study Pauline’s sacrifices during several
incidents, which were known to be discomforting. Thérèse took every opportunity to continue to learn from Pauline
through these incidents without ever having to say a word to each other. In another note, Thérèse expressed words
of encouragement to Pauline as she was enduring minor difficulties in her job as Depositrix. Pauline took on the
responsibilities for taking care of the administration part of the monastery. Thérèse reminded her that all that she
endures is for Jesus and after her exile here on earth is over, Jesus has created a special place for her in Heaven. He,
in turn, will return the sacrifices she made for Him and administer to her needs.
In a letter, dated January 9, 1897, Thérèse wrote to remind Pauline of how blessed she was to have a sister like her.
Thérèse emphasized how much Pauline had given of herself to meet her needs both as a child and as an adult.
Thérèse felt she was not able to repay her in full for all that she had done in this life, but promised Pauline that in
Heaven she would give back double of what she received from her here on earth. Thérèse saw Pauline’s way, of
remaining hidden, similar to that of Jesus when He lived His life here on earth. She again thanked Pauline for being the
one chosen in their family to guide her sisters out from the darkness of the earth and into the light of heaven.
Several months prior to Thérèse’s January 9th letter, she had already seen the first signs of her impending death after
she had coughed up blood while she was in her cell in April of 1896. But Pauline was never told of this event, which
was kept hidden from her by both Thérèse and Mother Marie de Gonzague. Thérèse, knowing that tuberculosis was
a fatal disease, made several indirect attempts through her notes to prepare Pauline for her impending death. Thérèse
did not want Pauline to know because she did not want her to worry about it because Pauline, herself, was physically
suffering off and on during this same period.
On January 21, 1897, in honor of Pauline’s feast day, Thérèse wrote a poem titled: “My Joy”. In her poem to
Pauline, she described parts of the ‘Little Way’ to her. She gave several examples of her life, which ‘her "joy" could
not escape her. One example was when people search for joy in all things material to fill their hearts, the opposite
occurs for her because joy cannot escape her when it’s always treasured in her heart. When suffering has taken root
in her soul, she accepted it even though she may have been crying over it. When her joy may seem that it is
abandoned in her soul, she hides herself and uses humility as her defense. Her joy is to be little in all things so that
when there were times that she failed it would not be far for her to get up again. During her struggles, her joy is to
lead more people to God.
In a note, dated on March 19, 1897, Thérèse knew that Jesus had proven his love to Pauline several times before in
her life. However, Thérèse knew that she had not been able to always show her that same love. So, she reminded
Pauline yet again of how much she loved her. Thérèse told her she would give proof of that same love that Pauline
showed her and which Jesus willed for her through testimonies from other people around the world after her death.
During the second week of May, Pauline wrote Thérèse a short note to simply ask her for an opportunity to speak
with her. Thérèse had been showing signs of her illness to everyone but the severity of her illness was not to the
extent that indicated to Pauline that she was suffering from tuberculosis. Pauline started to worry about her because
Thérèse had been keeping her distance from her sister. Pauline asked her instead of taking your walks, “Why don’t
you spend a little time talking to me?” But unknown to Pauline, Thérèse was using this time to walk with
missionaries. Even though it was difficult for Thérèse to walk without suffering, she used her suffering as a means
of sacrifice for those missionaries who themselves were suffering.
Pauline witnessed Thérèse become irritated with another sister when she was asked to help her paint a statue, earlier
in the morning of May 28th. When Thérèse looked at Pauline she understood immediately that the way she acted was
wrong. Pauline did not have to say anything to her about it, however, later Thérèse sent her a small note apologizing
for her actions concerning the incident. She revealed to Pauline that she has always been “the angel charged to guide
me and announce the Lord’s mercies to me.” (CL)
By the 30th of May the time had come where the severity of Thérèse’s illness could no longer be hidden. Pauline was
worried because Thérèse’s health was declining at a fast rate. She approached Thérèse and found out discreetly
from her that she had coughed up blood in April of last year. Pauline realized then that she was severely ill. Pauline
was not aware that it was tuberculosis that was going to take her sister’s life. Pauline was hurt by realization that
Thérèse was going to die! She was devastated by the news. She could not understand why Thérèse never told her.
Thérèse was never given permission from Mother Marie de Gonzague to tell her herself. Thérèse tried to comfort
Pauline by saying: “Please do not be sad that my illness was hidden from you. For you still know all that possesses in
my soul. Will you not be pleased that God will see all that you yourself cultivated in my soul? I know God will see
firsthand the power of your love for Him through me forever in Heaven.”
In a note written on May 30th,Thérèse again tried to comfort Pauline by stating; “That when I leave this earth and
reach Heaven, I will still be at your side because your soul will ascend to mine in Heaven. You are the angel that Jesus
sent before me to prepare the way for me, the way that leads to Heaven, the elevator to raise me without fatigue to the
infinite regions of love.” (CL) There are no words in any language on this earth that can be expressed to show you the
love that I have for you and the thankfulness that I possess in my heart for all that you have done for me.
That same day, Pauline responded to Thérèse’s note. She asked Thérèse to ask God to give her the graces that she,
herself, possessed in letting her go. Even though, “I will shed many tears of your absence here on earth, happiness
will possess at the bottom of my heart knowing that you have reached Heaven. My "white dove" God is calling you
back to our Homeland. He must not be deprived of His beloved child’s companionship any longer. For His glory in
receiving you, “I am willing to suffer on this earth as long as God wills, I am willing to mourn in my turn like a
plaintive dove exiled in this valley of tears.” (LCM) I am blessed that you will be in the presence of God before me, for
you will “prepare a place for me and make me into a saint from up above.” (LCM)
After Thérèse received Pauline’s response, Thérèse wrote her a second note on the same day. Thérèse desired only
to be a blessing to Pauline and not a burden. She did not want Pauline to worry about her at all. She apologized to
Pauline for keeping her illness hidden. As far as Thérèse could remember, there was nothing else that she had hidden
from her. Thérèse asked Pauline that after her death please do not believe anything that will be said about her and her
illness, which would contradict what she has said to her now.
After a brief conversation on June 2, 1897, Mother Marie de Gonzague gave Pauline permission to stay with Thérèse
at night in her cell. Pauline also suggested to Mother Marie to have Thérèse to write the second manuscript about her
life as a Carmelite nun so that they would have something for her obituary letter after her death. The same day,
Pauline approached Thérèse and told her that she was not allowed to die. Pauline’s heart was still pierced by the fact
that she was severely ill. Thérèse explained to Pauline that it's not that she wanted to leave her "little mother" but it
was God who was calling her home.
Pauline started writing down all of her conversations with Thérèse in her yellow notebook. In her notebook, she
added in the months of April and May from previous conversations that both of them had before she started to stay
with Thérèse. It was an effort on Pauline’s part to record and cherish later the beautiful memories she had of her
sister. There was also a need to relay the same information to her sister Léonie, who already left the Visitation
monastery, as well as her uncle and aunt which all of them were very concern for her health. During this period of
time, Léonie had gone with her uncle and aunt on vacation so they were not able to see any of them in person.
On June 4, 1897, Thérèse started to write her second manuscript. But the first week of June was very traumatic for
Thérèse because her health depleted rapidly. Pauline was upset and felt guilty for having her start her second
manuscript. But on the contrary, she was joyous at knowing the second half of her life would be written. Pauline
stated to her: “I shall be your herald; I shall proclaim your deeds of valor; I shall try to make the world love and serve
God by all the lights He has given you, lights that never go out.” (LCM) After all that I will do for you, will I be blessed
by you for it? Will your angel dust fall upon me from your wings in Heaven? Your presence will be needed
everywhere in my life after your death. When I woke up this morning, Thérèse's attitude towards your impending
death is changing. God spoke to me: “Your little sister has been praying for you. Thérèse, that is the secret of where
I get my strength. So, I thank you and press you close to my heart.” (LCM) My ‘little mother’, the one that I love so
much, the one who laid out for me the preparations for my First Holy Communion when I was but a child now my
"little mother" I ask you to prepare me for my journey to our homeland.
Even though, Pauline’s attitude towards Thérèse’s illness was changing, she sought out the protection of Our Lady
of Victories. A novena of masses was said in Thérèse’s name for a cure of her illness. But on the 9th of June,
Thérèse felt otherwise, 'Our Lady', the one who cured me once when I was a child is not going to cure me again in
the same way. The only consoling 'Our Lady' will give is that to Pauline, who grieves more of my future passing than
I. On the 14th of June when the novena ended, Thérèse’s condition improved slightly. Pauline also took it upon
herself to seek out other medicinal remedies from her uncle Isidore as well as from her cousin Dr. La Neele. It pained
Pauline so much to see her sister receive a vesicatory, she cried more at seeing her sister receiving it than Thérèse
herself. After Pauline had escorted Thérèse back to her cell, she knelt down beside her and asked her for her
forgiveness for causing her to suffer more for not being able to receive the Holy Eucharist. But Thérèse turned and
looked at her and in a soft voice and said there is not much for me to suffer in receiving the Holy Eucharist.
As a loving gesture towards consoling her sisters Marie, Pauline, Léonie and Céline, Thérèse gave them a picture
with a poem. In the poem, she described to them her future journey home to be with Jesus forever. The most
important thing she told her sisters is that they should always remember the importance of Love above all other things.
She also reiterated to them her unending commitment to loving and serving Jesus fully. She was at peace.
Late in the evening, on June 15, 1897, Pauline sat down beside Thérèse and asked her: "Will I be forgotten by you
when you have reached heaven?" But on the contrary, responded Thérèse, I will never forget you. Then, she looked
at Pauline and recited a verse from John 14:3 “And if I shall go, and prepare a place for you. I will come again, and
will take you to myself; that where I am, you also may be.” (B)
Pauline had painted miniature pictures of Our Lady holding the baby Jesus for the prioress, Mother Marie de
Gonzague, on her feast day. She took them over to show Thérèse, on the 20th of June, before she gave them to
Mother Marie as a present. Lovingly, Thérèse gazed over the pictures and placed each one of her fingers on each of
the heads of the baby Jesus’s. She looked at Pauline and said: “I am holding them all under my dominion.” (LC)
Pauline had finished her duties for the day and went to Thérèse’s cell to check up on her, on the 3rd of July. During
their conversation the topic of her death was being discussed. Pauline relayed to her the Carmelite tradition of placing
a palm in the deceased nun’s hand while she lay in her coffin. But Thérèse looked at her lovingly and stated, “I will at
times release the palm from my hands so that I can be at your side whenever you are in need of graces.”
Several days later, Thérèse’s deteriorated physical condition was becoming more evident when she started to vomit
blood again. Pauline, at the mercy of Our Lady, prayed before her statue asking for Thérèse’s vomiting of blood to
stop. She held a vigil in her honor and lit a candle. By the end of the day, Thérèse’s vomiting had stopped for the rest
of the night.
Thérèse was moved down from her cell into the infirmary permanently on July 8th. There was great consideration
over the thought of giving her the Last Rites. Pauline sat beside her bed in the infirmary as she tried to console
Thérèse. Thérèse’s eyes glossed over with tears because she felt overwhelmed by the care given to her by Pauline.
She reflected back to the memories of when she was a child and now in a frail state of health as an adult. She said to
Pauline, “You have always taken care of me very well throughout my entire life. When I enter heaven, I will take the
opportunity to give back the graces that you have showered upon me while we have been here in exile. Not only will I
return all of the graces that you yourself have given me but I will multiply them beyond measure.”
Pauline was always in the habit of looking up at the window of Thérèse’s cell when she passed through the
courtyard. It was always Pauline’s way of keeping an eye on her. After Thérèse was moved to the infirmary, it
became more evident to Pauline that she would not be returning back to her cell. Pauline remarked to Thérèse :“Now
when I look up at the window of your cell, it will be very painful for me to see it because I know you will no longer
be there.” Thérèse responded back to Pauline and said, “Every time you look up at the window of my cell, it will
remind you that I am very happy in Heaven, even though there will be many memories which will surface in your
heart of the place where I fought so many battles against my illness.” Pauline has been there to comfort her through
her illness, filling her last days with nothing but pure love.
On the 14th of July, the doctor came and visited Thérèse. The doctor told Pauline that she seemed to be getting better
and she might be able to conquer her illness. However, Thérèse thought otherwise. She knew that God was calling
her home to Heaven. Thérèse wanted her illness to end soon so that she could spare Pauline and her sisters any more
grief over her suffering. She looked up at Pauline and expressed to her how much she loved her. You will know how
much I love you soon, real soon.
Thérèse had responded to Father Bellière’s letter on July 18th. In her letter, she tried to comfort him over her
impending death. Previously, she had asked him to pray for Pauline so that she would view her impending death not
with great bitterness but as a blessing. Both Father Bellière and Pauline were greeting Thérèse’s death as a great loss.
But Thérèse’s prayers were slowly being answered; Pauline’s attitude towards her arrival in Heaven was going to be
met with celebration. Pauline was realizing that even though she would lose her sister here on earth, she would always
be with her in Heaven. Thérèse asked Father Bellière to continue to pray for Pauline that both of them will seek
consolation in her passing. Please pray for my intentions because I love my sister Pauline “even more because she is
Jesus visibly present to me.” (CL)
On July 21st, Pauline went to the infirmary to see how her sister was doing and she would always do little things to
comfort her. Each day, Thérèse looked forward to seeing Pauline and commented to her what it really meant to her
that she was there. When she appeared before her each day her spirit was filled with great joy. Thérèse knew she did
not have to spend a lot of her time giving to Pauline for she was the one that always gave so much to her.
The anguish of seeing Thérèse suffer added to the physical suffering Pauline was already facing. On July 27th,
Thérèse, seeing evidence of this when Pauline entered the infirmary commented to her on her ill health. Thérèse
reversed her role of a patient and insisted to Pauline that she not forget to take her medication that was prescribed to
her by the doctor.
The spiritual union between Pauline and Thérèse was very strong. They had that special bond between the both of
them. Without having to say a word to each other, everything was revealed in their souls. On the 27th of July, when
Pauline arrived in the infirmary to check up on Thérèse, she remarked to Pauline about their strong spiritual bond.
She said: “Little mother is my telephone; I have only to cock my ear when she comes, and I know everything.” (LC)
Thérèse leaned forward in her bed and took the fan that was given to her by one of her Carmelite sisters from Saigon
on July 30th. As her sisters Marie, Pauline, and Céline were sitting at her bedside, Thérèse took the fan and started
to fan them instead. She looked at them lovingly while she was fanning them and said: “I am fanning the saints
instead of myself; I am fanning you to do you some good because you are saints!” (LC)
On August 1st, Pauline brought in Thérèse’s manuscript for her to review it. Thérèse reread it and was
overwhelmed with emotion by what she had written. Thérèse then turned to Pauline and gave her a warning. She told
Pauline: “Please do not let anyone know that I have written this manuscript until after it has been published but with
the exception of Mother Marie de Gonzague. “Little mother”, if you were to tell anyone about this manuscript, the
devil will place several obstacles in your path and your ability to have it published will be extremely difficult.” Little did
Pauline know at this time what lay ahead of her in the future in regards to Thérèse’s manuscript.
Pauline came into the infirmary on the 5th of August to comfort Thérèse and see how she was coping with her
illness. During their conversation, Pauline had confided in her over a certain incident that she was suffering from.
Thérèse looked at her and told her that as a mother, the one who is a representative of Christ to her sisters should not
let anyone know that she, too, is suffering. It is more comforting to a sister when she is able to confide in her mother
the sufferings that she is facing without her mother comparing her own sufferings to the sister that is confiding in
her. Thus, echoing to Pauline what she had already taught her during her childhood.
At times when Thérèse was suffering enormously, whether it was vomiting blood or when she was choking, Pauline
would pray reverently to Our Lady and ask her to relieve her sister’s dire symptoms. Thérèse, on the other hand,
asked her not to bother asking Our Lady to relieve her symptoms. On the 17th of August, Thérèse made reference to
this to her sister Céline. In a joking manner, Thérèse said to Céline, after Pauline earlier had told her she was going
to pray for her said: “She (Pauline) prayed to Mary, and I am no longer hiccupping.” (LC)
Thérèse’s condition continued to worsen in September. Upon the anniversary of her profession and a few days
afterwards, the symptoms of her tuberculosis hid themselves very well. The doctors were somewhat baffled by this
after they came in and examined her. On September 11th, Pauline came in to see how she was doing. As Pauline sat
at her bedside speaking to her, Thérèse made a prophetic announcement to Pauline. Out of all of the sisters, Marie,
Léonie, and Céline, Pauline was to be the last of the sisters to leave this earth and enter the kingdom of Heaven. It
would not be her time until Pauline was to complete the work that Thérèse was to bring forth to her from Heaven.
Unless of course, there are those souls that are in need of her guidance after which time God will send for her. It was
true out of all of Thérèse’s sisters, Pauline lived the longest in age but Céline on the other hand would be the last
sister to reach the gates of Heaven eight years after Pauline.
Bibliography
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Baronius Press Unlimited, London, United Kingdom, 2005
ascending closer to heaven. On July 29, 1894, early in the morning,
Louis breathes his last breath while he was staying at the Château of
La Musse. Céline was there to witness his ascent. Immediately,
she sent a note to her sisters about their father’s death. On
August 2, 1894, Louis’s funeral was held at the Cathedral of
Saint-Pierre in Lisieux. His body was laid to rest at the local cemetery.
Afterwards, a memorial service was conducted at the Carmelite chapel
reuniting the family once more. Weeks later, the remains of Azélie and
their belated children were brought to Lisieux and were laid to rest
beside Louis’s grave. The rest of the family was once again reunited.
In August of 1894, a prayer was written to honor the memory of their beloved
father. It was titled: ‘Prayer of the Child of a Saint’. Each part to the prayer
represented each daughter that truly loved him and sought his spiritual guidance
before and after his death. A description of their father’s guidance in Pauline’s
section, gives precise insight into the bond between her and her father as it was
written: “Remember thou thy beautiful ‘pure pearl’, the timid lamb once to thy tendence given! Trusting in God,
behold thy lovely girl. Guide Carmel’s flock along the road to Heaven. Of thy beloved ones, “Mother” is she today:
Then come guide even now thy darling on her way! This Carmel of Thine own, Remember at Heaven’s throne.
Remember thou!” (FL)
Céline entered the Carmelite monastery on September 14, 1894. Her sisters were pleased to greet her lovingly once
more. Unfortunately, Céline’s entrance was met with some opposition prior to her entering. But with the intercession
of prayers, on behalf of her sister Thérèse, things changed dramatically for the better, allowing her entrance to
commence.
One night during the month of January 1895, Marie, Pauline, Céline and Thérèse were warming up against the
fireplace before returning to their cells for the night. Thérèse was reminiscing with her sisters over their childhood
memories. When it was time for them to retire, Marie approached Pauline and suggested that Thérèse write down all
of her childhood memories. Pauline agreed with Marie and asked Thérèse to do so.
Pauline celebrated her thirty-fourth birthday on September 7, 1895. In honor of this event, Thérèse composed a poem
for her sister. Thérèse reflected back to the time of her childhood when Pauline took care of her and the longing that
both of them had to be “hermits in the desert”. It was Carmel that was to be their desert. In Thérèse’s poem to
Pauline, she told Pauline that if she died before her that she would in turn be Pauline’s angel as Pauline was to her:
“To My Dear Mother, the Fair Angel of My Childhood” (PL)
Though so far from beautiful Heaven, my Homeland,
I’m not alone on earth
For in this life’s exile
A fair Angel guides my steps.
This fair Angel, O dear Mother!
Sang by my cradle,
And the sound of her melody
Still seems so new.
She sang of the charms of Jesus,
She sang of the joy of a pure heart.
Drying my tears with her wing,
She sang of beautiful blue Heaven…
O deep mystery! This fair Angel
Called me her baby sister…
She had a Mother’s features,
And I would rest on her heart! …
But alas! Instead of taking me to Heaven,
One day the fair Angel,
Seeking the Virgins’ procession,
Took her flight to Carmel! …
Ah! How I wanted to follow her
To contemplate her virtues up close
Like her, I wanted to live,
And like her, to unite myself to Jesus…
But without leaving the Heavenly Court,
I’ll come down to this foreign shore,
Close by my Mother,
To take my turn as her angel…
Throughout her life Pauline cherished this beloved poem from her sister. She pulled it out from time to time and reread
it and reflected on the meaning of the words, especially when difficult obstacles were placed in her path. It was a
source of hope and inspiration for her to continue her exile on earth.
In January of 1896, Thérèse completed her notebook listing her childhood memories and handed it to Pauline for her
to review her manuscript. Unfortunately, Pauline was too preoccupied with the campaigning for a prioress as well as
governing the monastery. She was not able to read it until after the elections were held.
Leading up to the new elections of the prioress in March of 1896, Mother Marie de Gonzague campaigned among her
sisters for the position. The campaign was brought on by the dissatisfaction that Mother Marie had against Pauline and
her governing. She knew that she could not manipulate her as she thought she could as prioress. Mother Marie
purposely used every opportunity to undermine Pauline’s authority in front of the other sisters. This was so that she
could show the other sisters that she was the one best suited for the position. As Thérèse and Sister Magellan sat and
witnessed one of these episodes, Thérèse said to Sister Magellan: “I rejoice; the more I see Mother Agnes suffer, the
happier I am. You do not know the value of suffering. If you only knew the good it does her soul.” (TH)
On March 21, 1896, the election for prioress was held. By one vote, Mother Marie de Gonzague was re-elected
prioress once again. Immediately, it was a devastating blow for Pauline and her sisters. However, Pauline used this
whole experience as an act of humility, adding one more pearl in her crown for Jesus.
After the elections were over, Pauline had the opportunity to read the manuscript that Thérèse wrote. Pauline was
astonished at how far Thérèse had advanced in her way of perfection. All that was taught to Thérèse by Pauline had
mirrored itself to her in the manuscript. Pauline later apologized to Thérèse for taking so long to review her
manuscript.
The Carmelite nuns of Lisieux established, in 1861, a monastery in Saigon, Vietnam. In August of 1896, the Carmelite
nuns of Saigon requested help for more nuns to come and join them. There was serious consideration by the newly
re-elected prioress; Mother Marie de Gonzague that Pauline would be one of the nuns sent to Saigon. Weeks later,
Céline and her cousin Marie Guérin were also added to the list for consideration. But as divine intervention should
have it, neither of the Martin sisters or their cousin was sent to Saigon.
On December 4, 1896, Thérèse wrote Pauline a small note expressing to her how much she loved her and
commending her on her valiant acts of humility. Thérèse would periodically study Pauline’s sacrifices during several
incidents, which were known to be discomforting. Thérèse took every opportunity to continue to learn from Pauline
through these incidents without ever having to say a word to each other. In another note, Thérèse expressed words
of encouragement to Pauline as she was enduring minor difficulties in her job as Depositrix. Pauline took on the
responsibilities for taking care of the administration part of the monastery. Thérèse reminded her that all that she
endures is for Jesus and after her exile here on earth is over, Jesus has created a special place for her in Heaven. He,
in turn, will return the sacrifices she made for Him and administer to her needs.
In a letter, dated January 9, 1897, Thérèse wrote to remind Pauline of how blessed she was to have a sister like her.
Thérèse emphasized how much Pauline had given of herself to meet her needs both as a child and as an adult.
Thérèse felt she was not able to repay her in full for all that she had done in this life, but promised Pauline that in
Heaven she would give back double of what she received from her here on earth. Thérèse saw Pauline’s way, of
remaining hidden, similar to that of Jesus when He lived His life here on earth. She again thanked Pauline for being the
one chosen in their family to guide her sisters out from the darkness of the earth and into the light of heaven.
Several months prior to Thérèse’s January 9th letter, she had already seen the first signs of her impending death after
she had coughed up blood while she was in her cell in April of 1896. But Pauline was never told of this event, which
was kept hidden from her by both Thérèse and Mother Marie de Gonzague. Thérèse, knowing that tuberculosis was
a fatal disease, made several indirect attempts through her notes to prepare Pauline for her impending death. Thérèse
did not want Pauline to know because she did not want her to worry about it because Pauline, herself, was physically
suffering off and on during this same period.
On January 21, 1897, in honor of Pauline’s feast day, Thérèse wrote a poem titled: “My Joy”. In her poem to
Pauline, she described parts of the ‘Little Way’ to her. She gave several examples of her life, which ‘her "joy" could
not escape her. One example was when people search for joy in all things material to fill their hearts, the opposite
occurs for her because joy cannot escape her when it’s always treasured in her heart. When suffering has taken root
in her soul, she accepted it even though she may have been crying over it. When her joy may seem that it is
abandoned in her soul, she hides herself and uses humility as her defense. Her joy is to be little in all things so that
when there were times that she failed it would not be far for her to get up again. During her struggles, her joy is to
lead more people to God.
In a note, dated on March 19, 1897, Thérèse knew that Jesus had proven his love to Pauline several times before in
her life. However, Thérèse knew that she had not been able to always show her that same love. So, she reminded
Pauline yet again of how much she loved her. Thérèse told her she would give proof of that same love that Pauline
showed her and which Jesus willed for her through testimonies from other people around the world after her death.
During the second week of May, Pauline wrote Thérèse a short note to simply ask her for an opportunity to speak
with her. Thérèse had been showing signs of her illness to everyone but the severity of her illness was not to the
extent that indicated to Pauline that she was suffering from tuberculosis. Pauline started to worry about her because
Thérèse had been keeping her distance from her sister. Pauline asked her instead of taking your walks, “Why don’t
you spend a little time talking to me?” But unknown to Pauline, Thérèse was using this time to walk with
missionaries. Even though it was difficult for Thérèse to walk without suffering, she used her suffering as a means
of sacrifice for those missionaries who themselves were suffering.
Pauline witnessed Thérèse become irritated with another sister when she was asked to help her paint a statue, earlier
in the morning of May 28th. When Thérèse looked at Pauline she understood immediately that the way she acted was
wrong. Pauline did not have to say anything to her about it, however, later Thérèse sent her a small note apologizing
for her actions concerning the incident. She revealed to Pauline that she has always been “the angel charged to guide
me and announce the Lord’s mercies to me.” (CL)
By the 30th of May the time had come where the severity of Thérèse’s illness could no longer be hidden. Pauline was
worried because Thérèse’s health was declining at a fast rate. She approached Thérèse and found out discreetly
from her that she had coughed up blood in April of last year. Pauline realized then that she was severely ill. Pauline
was not aware that it was tuberculosis that was going to take her sister’s life. Pauline was hurt by realization that
Thérèse was going to die! She was devastated by the news. She could not understand why Thérèse never told her.
Thérèse was never given permission from Mother Marie de Gonzague to tell her herself. Thérèse tried to comfort
Pauline by saying: “Please do not be sad that my illness was hidden from you. For you still know all that possesses in
my soul. Will you not be pleased that God will see all that you yourself cultivated in my soul? I know God will see
firsthand the power of your love for Him through me forever in Heaven.”
In a note written on May 30th,Thérèse again tried to comfort Pauline by stating; “That when I leave this earth and
reach Heaven, I will still be at your side because your soul will ascend to mine in Heaven. You are the angel that Jesus
sent before me to prepare the way for me, the way that leads to Heaven, the elevator to raise me without fatigue to the
infinite regions of love.” (CL) There are no words in any language on this earth that can be expressed to show you the
love that I have for you and the thankfulness that I possess in my heart for all that you have done for me.
That same day, Pauline responded to Thérèse’s note. She asked Thérèse to ask God to give her the graces that she,
herself, possessed in letting her go. Even though, “I will shed many tears of your absence here on earth, happiness
will possess at the bottom of my heart knowing that you have reached Heaven. My "white dove" God is calling you
back to our Homeland. He must not be deprived of His beloved child’s companionship any longer. For His glory in
receiving you, “I am willing to suffer on this earth as long as God wills, I am willing to mourn in my turn like a
plaintive dove exiled in this valley of tears.” (LCM) I am blessed that you will be in the presence of God before me, for
you will “prepare a place for me and make me into a saint from up above.” (LCM)
After Thérèse received Pauline’s response, Thérèse wrote her a second note on the same day. Thérèse desired only
to be a blessing to Pauline and not a burden. She did not want Pauline to worry about her at all. She apologized to
Pauline for keeping her illness hidden. As far as Thérèse could remember, there was nothing else that she had hidden
from her. Thérèse asked Pauline that after her death please do not believe anything that will be said about her and her
illness, which would contradict what she has said to her now.
After a brief conversation on June 2, 1897, Mother Marie de Gonzague gave Pauline permission to stay with Thérèse
at night in her cell. Pauline also suggested to Mother Marie to have Thérèse to write the second manuscript about her
life as a Carmelite nun so that they would have something for her obituary letter after her death. The same day,
Pauline approached Thérèse and told her that she was not allowed to die. Pauline’s heart was still pierced by the fact
that she was severely ill. Thérèse explained to Pauline that it's not that she wanted to leave her "little mother" but it
was God who was calling her home.
Pauline started writing down all of her conversations with Thérèse in her yellow notebook. In her notebook, she
added in the months of April and May from previous conversations that both of them had before she started to stay
with Thérèse. It was an effort on Pauline’s part to record and cherish later the beautiful memories she had of her
sister. There was also a need to relay the same information to her sister Léonie, who already left the Visitation
monastery, as well as her uncle and aunt which all of them were very concern for her health. During this period of
time, Léonie had gone with her uncle and aunt on vacation so they were not able to see any of them in person.
On June 4, 1897, Thérèse started to write her second manuscript. But the first week of June was very traumatic for
Thérèse because her health depleted rapidly. Pauline was upset and felt guilty for having her start her second
manuscript. But on the contrary, she was joyous at knowing the second half of her life would be written. Pauline
stated to her: “I shall be your herald; I shall proclaim your deeds of valor; I shall try to make the world love and serve
God by all the lights He has given you, lights that never go out.” (LCM) After all that I will do for you, will I be blessed
by you for it? Will your angel dust fall upon me from your wings in Heaven? Your presence will be needed
everywhere in my life after your death. When I woke up this morning, Thérèse's attitude towards your impending
death is changing. God spoke to me: “Your little sister has been praying for you. Thérèse, that is the secret of where
I get my strength. So, I thank you and press you close to my heart.” (LCM) My ‘little mother’, the one that I love so
much, the one who laid out for me the preparations for my First Holy Communion when I was but a child now my
"little mother" I ask you to prepare me for my journey to our homeland.
Even though, Pauline’s attitude towards Thérèse’s illness was changing, she sought out the protection of Our Lady
of Victories. A novena of masses was said in Thérèse’s name for a cure of her illness. But on the 9th of June,
Thérèse felt otherwise, 'Our Lady', the one who cured me once when I was a child is not going to cure me again in
the same way. The only consoling 'Our Lady' will give is that to Pauline, who grieves more of my future passing than
I. On the 14th of June when the novena ended, Thérèse’s condition improved slightly. Pauline also took it upon
herself to seek out other medicinal remedies from her uncle Isidore as well as from her cousin Dr. La Neele. It pained
Pauline so much to see her sister receive a vesicatory, she cried more at seeing her sister receiving it than Thérèse
herself. After Pauline had escorted Thérèse back to her cell, she knelt down beside her and asked her for her
forgiveness for causing her to suffer more for not being able to receive the Holy Eucharist. But Thérèse turned and
looked at her and in a soft voice and said there is not much for me to suffer in receiving the Holy Eucharist.
As a loving gesture towards consoling her sisters Marie, Pauline, Léonie and Céline, Thérèse gave them a picture
with a poem. In the poem, she described to them her future journey home to be with Jesus forever. The most
important thing she told her sisters is that they should always remember the importance of Love above all other things.
She also reiterated to them her unending commitment to loving and serving Jesus fully. She was at peace.
Late in the evening, on June 15, 1897, Pauline sat down beside Thérèse and asked her: "Will I be forgotten by you
when you have reached heaven?" But on the contrary, responded Thérèse, I will never forget you. Then, she looked
at Pauline and recited a verse from John 14:3 “And if I shall go, and prepare a place for you. I will come again, and
will take you to myself; that where I am, you also may be.” (B)
Pauline had painted miniature pictures of Our Lady holding the baby Jesus for the prioress, Mother Marie de
Gonzague, on her feast day. She took them over to show Thérèse, on the 20th of June, before she gave them to
Mother Marie as a present. Lovingly, Thérèse gazed over the pictures and placed each one of her fingers on each of
the heads of the baby Jesus’s. She looked at Pauline and said: “I am holding them all under my dominion.” (LC)
Pauline had finished her duties for the day and went to Thérèse’s cell to check up on her, on the 3rd of July. During
their conversation the topic of her death was being discussed. Pauline relayed to her the Carmelite tradition of placing
a palm in the deceased nun’s hand while she lay in her coffin. But Thérèse looked at her lovingly and stated, “I will at
times release the palm from my hands so that I can be at your side whenever you are in need of graces.”
Several days later, Thérèse’s deteriorated physical condition was becoming more evident when she started to vomit
blood again. Pauline, at the mercy of Our Lady, prayed before her statue asking for Thérèse’s vomiting of blood to
stop. She held a vigil in her honor and lit a candle. By the end of the day, Thérèse’s vomiting had stopped for the rest
of the night.
Thérèse was moved down from her cell into the infirmary permanently on July 8th. There was great consideration
over the thought of giving her the Last Rites. Pauline sat beside her bed in the infirmary as she tried to console
Thérèse. Thérèse’s eyes glossed over with tears because she felt overwhelmed by the care given to her by Pauline.
She reflected back to the memories of when she was a child and now in a frail state of health as an adult. She said to
Pauline, “You have always taken care of me very well throughout my entire life. When I enter heaven, I will take the
opportunity to give back the graces that you have showered upon me while we have been here in exile. Not only will I
return all of the graces that you yourself have given me but I will multiply them beyond measure.”
Pauline was always in the habit of looking up at the window of Thérèse’s cell when she passed through the
courtyard. It was always Pauline’s way of keeping an eye on her. After Thérèse was moved to the infirmary, it
became more evident to Pauline that she would not be returning back to her cell. Pauline remarked to Thérèse :“Now
when I look up at the window of your cell, it will be very painful for me to see it because I know you will no longer
be there.” Thérèse responded back to Pauline and said, “Every time you look up at the window of my cell, it will
remind you that I am very happy in Heaven, even though there will be many memories which will surface in your
heart of the place where I fought so many battles against my illness.” Pauline has been there to comfort her through
her illness, filling her last days with nothing but pure love.
On the 14th of July, the doctor came and visited Thérèse. The doctor told Pauline that she seemed to be getting better
and she might be able to conquer her illness. However, Thérèse thought otherwise. She knew that God was calling
her home to Heaven. Thérèse wanted her illness to end soon so that she could spare Pauline and her sisters any more
grief over her suffering. She looked up at Pauline and expressed to her how much she loved her. You will know how
much I love you soon, real soon.
Thérèse had responded to Father Bellière’s letter on July 18th. In her letter, she tried to comfort him over her
impending death. Previously, she had asked him to pray for Pauline so that she would view her impending death not
with great bitterness but as a blessing. Both Father Bellière and Pauline were greeting Thérèse’s death as a great loss.
But Thérèse’s prayers were slowly being answered; Pauline’s attitude towards her arrival in Heaven was going to be
met with celebration. Pauline was realizing that even though she would lose her sister here on earth, she would always
be with her in Heaven. Thérèse asked Father Bellière to continue to pray for Pauline that both of them will seek
consolation in her passing. Please pray for my intentions because I love my sister Pauline “even more because she is
Jesus visibly present to me.” (CL)
On July 21st, Pauline went to the infirmary to see how her sister was doing and she would always do little things to
comfort her. Each day, Thérèse looked forward to seeing Pauline and commented to her what it really meant to her
that she was there. When she appeared before her each day her spirit was filled with great joy. Thérèse knew she did
not have to spend a lot of her time giving to Pauline for she was the one that always gave so much to her.
The anguish of seeing Thérèse suffer added to the physical suffering Pauline was already facing. On July 27th,
Thérèse, seeing evidence of this when Pauline entered the infirmary commented to her on her ill health. Thérèse
reversed her role of a patient and insisted to Pauline that she not forget to take her medication that was prescribed to
her by the doctor.
The spiritual union between Pauline and Thérèse was very strong. They had that special bond between the both of
them. Without having to say a word to each other, everything was revealed in their souls. On the 27th of July, when
Pauline arrived in the infirmary to check up on Thérèse, she remarked to Pauline about their strong spiritual bond.
She said: “Little mother is my telephone; I have only to cock my ear when she comes, and I know everything.” (LC)
Thérèse leaned forward in her bed and took the fan that was given to her by one of her Carmelite sisters from Saigon
on July 30th. As her sisters Marie, Pauline, and Céline were sitting at her bedside, Thérèse took the fan and started
to fan them instead. She looked at them lovingly while she was fanning them and said: “I am fanning the saints
instead of myself; I am fanning you to do you some good because you are saints!” (LC)
On August 1st, Pauline brought in Thérèse’s manuscript for her to review it. Thérèse reread it and was
overwhelmed with emotion by what she had written. Thérèse then turned to Pauline and gave her a warning. She told
Pauline: “Please do not let anyone know that I have written this manuscript until after it has been published but with
the exception of Mother Marie de Gonzague. “Little mother”, if you were to tell anyone about this manuscript, the
devil will place several obstacles in your path and your ability to have it published will be extremely difficult.” Little did
Pauline know at this time what lay ahead of her in the future in regards to Thérèse’s manuscript.
Pauline came into the infirmary on the 5th of August to comfort Thérèse and see how she was coping with her
illness. During their conversation, Pauline had confided in her over a certain incident that she was suffering from.
Thérèse looked at her and told her that as a mother, the one who is a representative of Christ to her sisters should not
let anyone know that she, too, is suffering. It is more comforting to a sister when she is able to confide in her mother
the sufferings that she is facing without her mother comparing her own sufferings to the sister that is confiding in
her. Thus, echoing to Pauline what she had already taught her during her childhood.
At times when Thérèse was suffering enormously, whether it was vomiting blood or when she was choking, Pauline
would pray reverently to Our Lady and ask her to relieve her sister’s dire symptoms. Thérèse, on the other hand,
asked her not to bother asking Our Lady to relieve her symptoms. On the 17th of August, Thérèse made reference to
this to her sister Céline. In a joking manner, Thérèse said to Céline, after Pauline earlier had told her she was going
to pray for her said: “She (Pauline) prayed to Mary, and I am no longer hiccupping.” (LC)
Thérèse’s condition continued to worsen in September. Upon the anniversary of her profession and a few days
afterwards, the symptoms of her tuberculosis hid themselves very well. The doctors were somewhat baffled by this
after they came in and examined her. On September 11th, Pauline came in to see how she was doing. As Pauline sat
at her bedside speaking to her, Thérèse made a prophetic announcement to Pauline. Out of all of the sisters, Marie,
Léonie, and Céline, Pauline was to be the last of the sisters to leave this earth and enter the kingdom of Heaven. It
would not be her time until Pauline was to complete the work that Thérèse was to bring forth to her from Heaven.
Unless of course, there are those souls that are in need of her guidance after which time God will send for her. It was
true out of all of Thérèse’s sisters, Pauline lived the longest in age but Céline on the other hand would be the last
sister to reach the gates of Heaven eight years after Pauline.
Bibliography
Abbé Combes, ed. Collected Letters Of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux . (CL)
New York: Sheed & Ward, 1949.
Dolan, Albert H. Rev.. Collected Little Flower Works. Chicago: Carmelite Press, 1929. (CW)
---. Life of the Little Flower (CWa)
---. Living Sisters of the Little Flower (CWb)
---. Our Sister is in Heaven (CWc)
---. Where the Little Flower seems nearest (CWd)
---. The Little Flower’s Mother. Chicago: Carmelite Press, 1929. (CWe)
---. An Hour with the Little Flower (CWf)
---. God Made The Violet Too: Life of Léonie, Sister of St. Thérèse. (GV)
Chicago: Carmelite Press, 1948.
Piat, Stéphanie Fr. The Story Of A Family: The Home of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. (SF)
Trans: Benedictine of Stanbrook Abbey. Rockford, Ill.: Tan Books and Publishers, Inc., 1948.
Baudouin-Croix, Marie. Léonie Martin : A Difficult Life. (LM)
Dublin : Veritas Publications, 1993.
Beevers, John, trans. The Autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux: Story of a Soul. (SS)
New York: Doubleday, 1957.
Clarke, John, trans. St.Thérèse of Lisieux: Her Last Conversations. (LC)
Washington, D.C.: ICS Publications, 1977.
Martin, Celine. My Sister St.Thérèse Trans: The Carmelite Sisters of New York. (MST)
Rockford, Ill.: Tan Books and Publishers, Inc., 1959.
Martin, Celine. The Mother of the Little Flower Trans: Fr. Michael Collins, S.M.A. (ML)
Rockford, Ill.: Tan Books and Publishers, Inc. 1957
Mother Agnes of Jesus. Marie, Sister of St. Thérèse. Ed. Rev. Albert H. Dolan, O.Carm.
Chicago: Carmelite Press, 1943. (M)
Piat, Stéphanie Fr. The Story Of A Family: The Home of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. (SF)
Trans: Benedictine of Stanbrook Abbey. Rockford, Ill.: Tan Books and Publishers, Inc., 1948.
---. CÉLINE: Sister Geneviève of the Holy Face. Trans: The Carmelite Sisters of the Eucharist of Colchester, Conn. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1997. ©
Redmond, Paulinus Rev. Louis and Zélie Martin: The Seed and The Root of the Little Flower London: Quiller Press Limited, 1995. (SR)
Rohrbach, Peter-Thomas, O.C.D. The Search for St. Therese (SST)
Garden City, New York: Hanover House, 1961
Martin, Pauline. Little Counsels of Mother Agnes of Jesus, O.C.D. (LCM)
Lisieux, France, Office Central de Lisieux- distributed by Carmelite Monastery of Ada, Michigan
Helmuth Nils Loose, Pierre Descouvemont. Thérèse and Lisieux (TOL)
Trans: Salvatore Sciurba, O.C.D. and Louise Pambrun, Grand Rapids, Michigan Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1996
Gibbons, James Cardinal. Holy Bible (Douay-Rheims) 1899 Edition. (B)
Baronius Press Unlimited, London, United Kingdom, 2005
| "Always seek Jesus in everything"-Mother Agnes of Jesus |
Written by: R. Hann
Copyright © 2005-10 by r hann All Rights Reserved
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| Mother Agnes of Jesus Marie Pauline Martin "The Pearl of Lisieux" |
| Our Lady of the Smile |
September 7, 1861-July 28, 1951